i've been told that

I am crazy

for

chasing after a girl

she is no girl, she is an angel

perfectly flawed

She appeared in my darkest hour

brought hope and victory

when all was lost

Now it is my turn to repay the favor

I send all my troops to her aid

I sacrifice everything for her

everything

for she is my angel

and i am merely a human knight

 I've done it... Yep, I met my goal.

It's been around 9 months of changing my thought-patterns, eating habits, exercise habits, and managing stress in an entirely different fashion. I've lost nearly 70lbs and have finally reached that number that I thought was impossible. I honestly believed that this number in my head was way too low for me to strive for. Yet, here I am... and the scale agrees with me too!

Instead of the great sense of accomplishment, I'm struggling with a different issue. My extended family has started to ask some very personal questions. At first, they never would directly ask me, it was to my husband or to other family members. The questions surrounded what my goal was, possibly where I started out at... or a combination of numbers that through careful gossip they might discover just how fat I was. I have no problem stating the 70... or even that I'm at my goal. However, to tell them the number that I'm at now or the number that I began at is too much information.

The other day, I was on the phone with the only one who has been consistently talking to me about it (everyone else needs to find out the information through other people). She kept badgering me. "It's not like I want to know the big number, just what's your goal?" Note: this is the side of the family that doesn't really have very many problems with their weight. They naturally have that fabulous metabolism that allows them to eat whatever they like and they still can fit into a size 2 when they are in their mid-40s.  Therefore, I'm the odd-duck out in the family having struggled so hard with my weight for so many years.

She continued to ask... prod... poke... and finally I caved after a long inquiry that was drawing on the last nerves that my kids hadn't already destroyed for the day. I told her my goal. It seemed to satisfy her. However, afterwards I wondered if this was simply to check if I was indeed still fatter than her. Yep, I most likely am, and don't anticipate that I will ever fit into clothing like she is able to. I refuse to starve myself, exercise excessively, or become anorexic. Short of any of these things, I will most definitely never be a size 2... or whatever number she is at.

Now, to be fair, she did get up to a 10... once. So, maybe she can understand, a little. But, the fat that I got to was much higher than she can even imagine. It's a little different when you are getting dieting advice from someone who maybe needed to lose 20 lbs (she had plenty for me when I first started out).

I feel a little manipulated... why did I cave? Why couldn't I have held out? Will the entire family know just how fat I was? Does it really matter? Possibly not. I'm proud of my accomplishments and that should be enough. However, it's difficult when people see me now because I know that's what they are thinking.  "Just how fat was she?"

If it was only friends or acquaintances, I wouldn't care, but with family it's a little different. I think this is why it's so frustrating. I will continue to hold my head high and stand in my accomplishments. I will continue to work on my issues and continue forth on my journey, but I have this nagging feeling that the high-number or the ball-park estimate might have been revealed.

I have recently had the opportunity to experience therapy from the family perspective with my mother hospitalized for several months.

I am sorry to report the disappointment I have in my peers not to mention a highly reputed rehab hospital.

I have witnessed therapist eigther unwilling or unable to explain the POC, pateint  care with little if any individualied treatment (what I have often heard referred to as "cookie cutter' or "assemlby line" therapy) Pt. prioritizing that defies understanding (low level pts. left until the PM while high level pts are seen in the AM)

Sadly, I have provided more skilled therapy for my mother than her assigned therapists ( SLP, OT & PT)

What has happened to Pt care first and a standard of excellence?

Marion "Sugar Bear" Knight was arrested for domestic abuse:

Suge Knight has been busted again, this time for allegedly terrorizing and attacking his girlfriend. The former rap impresario was busted by Las Vegas cops for assault with a deadly weapon, possession of controlled substances and domestic violence.

Law enforcement tells us Suge allegedly attacked his girlfriend of three years early this morning. She claims he punched her in the back of the head while they were driving. She claims she tried getting out of the car, grabbed the steering wheel to cause an accident so someone would notice her peril. The car struck the curb and stopped. She fled from the car and allegedly Suge chased her, caught her and that's when the cops came. Cops say they saw Suge kick the woman in the head and was wielding a knife in his hand.

We can just imagine his crazy **** stomping chicks in the head. This broad should've hit up that dude "The Knockout Kid/Gary The Barber" who laid Suge out back in May to handle this situation.

O.J. Simpson and his daughter Arnelle fought over his girlfriend "Christie":

Cops rushed to the Florida home of O.J. Simpson after his eldest daughter knocked him to the ground in a brawl over his girlfriend Christie Prody, sources said. "Arnelle had a fight with Christie over Christie's behavior. That's what started the whole thing. Christie has some problems with drinking, and Arnelle got mad. O.J. said ‘Don't talk to her like that,' and Arnelle pushed him."

The source said Arnelle, 39, called 911 in a fit of guilt after she toppled the 61-year-old on Sunday, giving him a minor head injury.

Our "Divorce of the Year" has come to settlement:

Giants great Michael Strahan and his ex-wife, Jean, have settled their legal battle over how big a slice of his fortune she should get. But a fight over how much child support he must pay will continue after an appeals court decided the $214,745 a year ordered by a trial judge is too high. The Strahans' agreement on division of assets was sealed by the court, and their lawyers refused to divulge the details.

The retired football star was ordered in January to fork over $15.3 million to his ex-wife - but he only coughed up about half and filed an appeal on the rest. Jean Strahan's lawyer, Ellen Marshall, said her client was pleased with the outcome. "I feel happy that the Strahans were able to resolve their difference and focus on their children," Marshall said. "I think they set an example for other couples."

DMX is being released from jail even after cussing at the judge:

Even though he dropped an F-bomb on a Miami judge yesterday, DMX can finally get all the McD's he wants - for now. We're told his lawyer, former "Apprentice" could-a-been turned miracle worker Bradford Cohen, just worked out a plea deal with the judge: time served and about a $483 fine. D could've faced up to six years on the trying-to-score coke and pot charges, to which he plead guilty. We're also told AZ lawmen have 15 days to collar him for all his eight zillion arrests there. If they don't, he's home free ... until the next time he gets arrested, which should be ...

Next time we bet he'd be more watchful in the Wal-Mart parking lot

these are some songs for SF4 my friends KARIU and MAXIEDAMAN made tell me what you think.

RYU: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ictDPg3J2f0

BALROG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s4sqUc8On8

VEGA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb8gq-ge2jE&feature=related

AKUMA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rInc9P8ZJJ0

FEI LONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz-1M8z3eqo

E. HONDA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml-mxgzBtEc

CHUN-LI: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH57U60hlsE&feature=related

I am sad to hear that The Hardcore Legend, Mick Foley, has signed with TNA.  I hope they use him right!! 

From his catch-phrase taken from a B52's hit (Love Shack inspired "Bang Bang") to him living out his OWN "HeartBreak Kid dreams as Dude Love he was ALWAYS entertaining.

The "Cheap Pops" will be on Thursdays.  I hope he will be making an "iMPACT!" in Florida.  A least he will be near a WHOLE BUNCH of amusement parks (not that he has not gone to them before) but with the lighter schedule in TNA I think this was the best choice for this family man!!

I will miss ya in WWE Mick but I get why you're moving to TNA.

Best of luck to "Mr. Bang Bang"  XOXOXOXO

another serving of the dish served up as ONLY This DIva can!  Until Next time take care of those close to you!

I fell in love with an angel

I know so because no human possesses such beauty

the sharpness of her mind, the look in her eye

No matter how hard i try and fight

the battle is lost

before it begins

i cannot fight the fact that i love an angel.

with her,

I was in heaven

My life, soul whatever it takes

to be hers again.

Hello to all that may come across my page I`am just starting in wicca with the woman i love so very much and going to marry next year and she is letting me know the ends and outs of being wiccan and I would be more then happy to listen or read what any one has to say to me about being wiccan I`am a firefighter and working on my EMT I love helping people in need there is no feeling like knowing you made some one you don`t even know day a little better or great I love the out doors and taking walks in the woods with all that is beauitful within them I feel at home when I do.